My Awakening

From a young age, I was handed a life script: attend college, build a career, find a partner, have 2.5 kids, and buy a house. This narrative was reinforced by society, television, and even education. The prevailing belief was that this was the key to a “happy” and “successful” life.

This notion instilled self-limiting beliefs in me, which took considerable time and effort to dismantle. After my divorce, I felt an undeniable urge for something far greater than what I had experienced.

I had followed the prescribed script, yet my life resembled a low-budget film that I had no desire to watch instead of the thrilling adventure I had envisioned. That divorce jolted me from my complacency.

If everyone is following the same blueprint, wouldn't that make life somewhat average? Some may thrive within that mediocrity, finding contentment, but for others—myself included—that path leads to dissatisfaction.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with either scenario, but if you’re still reading, it seems that mere comfort isn’t enough for you.

Conventional methods often provide a sense of security, as many before you have achieved success through these tried-and-true paths. However, when you choose an alternative route, the end goal can become less defined.

John F. Kennedy once noted that while there are risks involved in taking action, they pale in comparison to the long-term risks of remaining unchallenged in comfort.

While there's nothing wrong with following the conventional route, equating comfort with happiness has led to the emergence of terms like “mid-life crisis” and “quarter-life crisis.” More recently, concepts like a "gap year" have gained popularity as people seek to rediscover themselves later in life.

There’s a crucial distinction between being comfortable and being genuinely happy. Many of us settle for comfort, allowing conventionality to trap us within our comfort zones, which we use as a justification for not pushing our boundaries.

We often find ourselves settling for less in our personal lives, careers, and relationships because we prioritize comfort, even when we sense something vital is missing.

A Turning Point in My Journey

After my divorce, the conventional wisdom surrounding love seemed discouraging. I was advised to lower my expectations and accept a mediocre relationship as a mid-30s divorced single father. That felt like a recipe for another failed marriage.

Throughout my dating life, I had adhered to a specific type, and when I was ready to date again, I continued down the same path with the same disappointing outcomes. It dawned on me that it was time for a change.

I resolved to remain open to love in whatever form it arrived.

As luck would have it, I met someone from another country shortly before the onset of COVID. The world may have been shutting down, but we built a meaningful relationship amid the chaos.

She is my partner, and as I write this, we’ve been happily married for a year and a half. Despite the skepticism and concerns about our unconventional approach, I realized that traditional methods had not served me well.

Yes, there were risks, but remaining in my comfort zone had only led to stagnation. I was tired of sacrificing my potential happiness for a state of mere adequacy. Ultimately, the gamble I took proved worthwhile.

While I’m not suggesting you take drastic measures, I emphasize the importance of maintaining an open mindset. Today, the possibilities are nearly limitless. Just because others cannot envision your path doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist; it simply means their perspective is limited.

You will encounter individuals who understand your vision immediately and others who won’t recognize it until it becomes widely accepted. To achieve success, you must first see your potential before anyone else does.

A Turning Point for You

Now, it’s time for some self-reflection. Has adhering to conventional wisdom led you to your desired destination? Are you clinging to mediocrity simply because it feels secure? Is comfort sufficient for you?

If these questions prompt you to reconsider your life choices, it may be time to explore unconventional methods—at least those that stray from your usual approach. History is filled with individuals who defied conventional norms on their journeys to greatness.

These are not just the famous figures we hear about; many unsung heroes have forged new paths toward happiness and fulfillment for themselves and their families. You likely know individuals like this, even if you don’t recognize their significance.

Certainly, there were challenges along the way, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Is it preferable to face obstacles on your journey toward your goals or to avoid trying altogether because conventional wisdom suggests an easier path?