Chapter 1: The Fundamental Principle of Presence

The initial step to mastering presence is to retain your energy within yourself rather than projecting it outward.

Reflecting on my early consulting career, I was oblivious to the idea of presence. I often felt disoriented, unsure if I was fully engaged in my body or if I was dispersing my essence into the minds of others. No one ever explained that my energy belonged to me; losing connection with it meant relinquishing my personal strength. I often left meetings and presentations feeling inadequate, plagued by the belief that I could have performed better.

Over time, I improved, but this transformation only occurred once I grasped the first rule of presence: Keep your energy focused within yourself.

This next story from my consulting days illustrates how a lack of presence can lead to struggles—not just for the presenter, but for the audience as well.

As I felt beads of sweat forming on my forehead, I realized that once I stood up in front of the projector, everyone would see my anxiety.

"Stop it!" I admonished myself. "Concentrate on the slides and the message. Focus on what you need to convey." I had rehearsed this presentation countless times, fully aware of my content. However, I remained uncertain about how the audience would react, what questions they might pose, and how they would perceive me.

Our consulting team was tasked with presenting to the board of a significant organization seeking restructuring insights. Each consultant had a defined segment to cover, with roughly ten slides to present. I had practiced my portion extensively.

My colleague was nearing the end of his presentation, but I hadn’t absorbed a single word he spoke. My mind was consumed with rehearsing what I needed to communicate when it was my turn. I was fixated on how I might be perceived and, crucially, whether they would find me likable or competent.

While I was aware of the content I was supposed to share, the anxiety I felt had nothing to do with my slides. The root of my stress stemmed from the fact that I was not truly present.

I was absent as I waited for my turn, and I remained disconnected as I approached the front of the room to take my place beside the projector. As I pressed 'enter' to display my first slide, I was acutely aware of a tightness in my voice, laden with dread and uncertainty. A recurring thought plagued me: would they notice my nervousness?

I wasn’t fully there; part of me had detached and drifted into the minds of the audience members. A fragment of my consciousness had infiltrated each of the twenty faces observing me, leaving me to struggle in articulating my first slide. Instead of being myself, I found myself trying to inhabit their perspectives, absorbed in the judgments I imagined and the validations I desperately sought.

The following fifteen minutes passed in a haze. I mechanically read the slides, highlighting key points and saying what I had rehearsed countless times. As I concluded my presentation, I anticipated a sense of relief, yet it eluded me. It felt like a different entity had performed, not me. I had been lost in the thoughts of those prominent individuals—the board of directors—who had enlisted our services. Only a shell of my true self had remained on stage, pressing 'enter' to advance the slides and delivering my message in a flat, monotone voice.

When I finally sat down, the lingering feeling of dread remained. It sat beside me, whispering that I could have done better.

Roxana Valea is an author, business consultant, and personal development coach. Her literary works encompass travel, women's fiction, and personal growth. In her professional life, she guides startup founders in nurturing internal growth through their people and processes. She is deeply committed to inspiring individuals to realize their fullest potential and pursue their highest aspirations.

www.roxanavalea.com

Chapter 2: The Impact of Energy on Engagement

In this video, "Leadership Presence is More Than You Think," discover how leadership presence transcends mere visibility and involves deeper personal energy management.

Chapter 3: Cultivating a Mindful Presence

"Faithful Presence - Week 1: Rules of Engagement" explores the foundational principles of maintaining a strong and engaging presence in both personal and professional settings.