Chapter 1: Understanding Attraction Beyond Appearance

It's common to witness men getting sidetracked in their pursuit of women. This inclination is part of human nature, as the survival of our species relies on reproduction. However, many men tend to overlook the perspectives of women, who often appreciate creativity and narrative depth.

What does this imply? Simply put, women's attraction isn't solely based on looks. They value deeper attributes in men, including security, self-assurance, an air of mystery, a sense of humor, charisma, empathy, and how they treat others. This complexity can lead many men to feel bewildered by women. So, how can men improve their success with women?

The answer is straightforward: “Invest in yourself, and everything else will follow.”

A personal investment—whether through reading to enhance your intellect or working out to boost your physical health—can yield significant returns.

Image by Alexander Mils on Unsplash

Consider starting a side project, like writing on Medium or exploring other creative outlets (the latter being a joke, of course). You might be surprised by the benefits you reap from dedicating even a small portion of your day to self-improvement.

Women often gravitate towards men who are taller, earn slightly more, and possess higher social status—though these standards are relative. You don’t have to be as wealthy as Elon Musk or possess a perfect physique to attract women. Social media can distort our perceptions of reality, leading to unrealistic expectations.

When you take a break from your screen and observe couples in real life, the truth becomes evident.

Image by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

Believing everything you see online can lead to disappointment, which is why it's essential to gain a clearer perspective. Additionally, striving to please everyone is a futile endeavor. Instead of being the fast-food option in the dating world, aim to be gourmet—discover your unique strengths and excel in that area.

Advancements in technology have allowed for connections that transcend social classes and ethnic backgrounds, underscoring the value of niche interests and subcultures. It’s crucial to educate yourself to avoid coming off as ignorant or insensitive.

It's important to note that being overly accommodating is often seen as unattractive. Women typically seek partners who can establish boundaries and assert themselves. This explains the allure of "bad boys," who often exude confidence and assertiveness.

In summary, the most vital lesson is to prioritize self-investment over the pursuit of women. By focusing on personal growth, you'll cultivate qualities like confidence, social skills, and assertiveness—traits that are universally appealing. Hard work, determination, and creativity also enhance attractiveness.

Avoid measuring your self-worth against unrealistic ideals perpetuated online; strive to embrace reality instead. If the thought of developing these traits seems overwhelming, remember: “Nothing worth having in life comes easy.”

Kabilan T

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