Chapter 1: The Journey of Self-Discovery

In my view, I consider myself one of the few "good" guys remaining in the dating scene. At 48 years old, I recognize that personal growth is an ongoing process, and I'm committed to bettering myself each day. While I may not be the ideal partner, there are certainly individuals who are far worse.

As I gain more self-awareness and wisdom, choosing to be single seems like the best path for me at this stage in my life. My experience includes a 17-year relationship that ended after 12 years of marriage, followed by two shorter relationships—one lasting 1.5 years and the other just over three years. The latter pushed me toward a journey of purpose and self-discovery, and I have no desire to relive the emotional turmoil I faced in that partnership.

All the warning signs were evident, but I lacked the confidence and awareness to recognize them and move forward. I took a deep plunge into that relationship, which ultimately led to emotional distress.

Relationships have a transformative effect on us.

When we truly learn from our experiences, the most challenging relationships often serve as catalysts for personal growth. Although I am not yet where I aspire to be, I long to meet someone who shares a similar path—someone with whom I can offer support, love, and acceptance as we navigate our journeys together. I seek a partner who appreciates my worth, just as I will appreciate hers, ensuring that we never engage in actions that could jeopardize our bond.

Here are some reasons why I have chosen to remain single at this point in my life. When the right person appears, I will be ready.

1. Self-Awareness: Acknowledging one’s worth. Once self-awareness is achieved, the dating pool often narrows significantly.
2. Conscious Choice: Having experienced abusive relationships, many prefer solitude over chaos and harm.
3. Focus on Self-Improvement: Taking time to work on oneself is crucial. By recognizing your value, you naturally attract higher-quality partners and become the person you aspire to date.
4. Dislike of Games: Many are exhausted by dating games. Personally, I’ve never engaged in casual dating, as it doesn't appeal to me. Authentic individuals are becoming increasingly rare.
5. Patience: While many settle prematurely, I choose to cultivate friendships first, avoiding hasty decisions about intimacy and cohabitation before genuinely knowing each other.
6. Freedom: I enjoy the autonomy of single life, allowing me to travel, dine, watch movies, and meet friends at my leisure—all while taking the time to understand myself better.

The takeaway from single life is that, although it can be lonely at times, I found that some of my most isolating moments occurred while in a relationship. Many rush into partnerships for the wrong reasons, seeking someone to complete or "fix" them.

I understand this well; I have been one of those fixers. Interestingly, I often find myself attracted to those who may be dysfunctional. Recognizing my co-dependency is a crucial step, leading me to focus on my personal growth. I aim to find a partner who complements my life rather than fills a void.

If the "right" person comes along, I will know without a doubt. But for now, I am content in my cozy 400 sq. ft. apartment in Cincinnati, enjoying a life devoid of manipulation and abuse.

Being alone is infinitely better than being mistreated.

Remember this truth.

Explore the benefits of being single and how it can lead to personal growth.

Chapter 2: Recognizing Relationship Red Flags

Learn how to identify when a relationship is over and gain advice on how to improve it.