Chapter 1: The Dilemma of Staying or Leaving

In my recent onboarding experience, I have delved into the importance of assessing how well workplace values align with personal beliefs.

For a while, I hesitated to share my thoughts. Over the past three years, I have documented both the highs and lows of my job search journey. Reflecting on these experiences through my writing has provided me with a degree of objectivity. While some subjects flowed easily, others have proven more challenging to articulate. The question at hand has left me puzzled.

A few months back, I embarked on a new professional chapter. Initially, I was thrilled about the potential for alignment between my values and those of my new workplace. However, I have since come to realize that the alignment may not be as clear-cut as I had hoped. Since my start, the values at my organization have felt somewhat ambiguous.

Given the importance I place on value alignment, I branded my company "Leadership and Values in Action," with the tagline "Leadership is the Expression of Values." I have written extensively about the need to align our work with our core values and the signs that indicate when it might be time to move on due to misalignment.

Now, I find myself grappling with whether my personal values are in sync with my work values. If they diverge significantly, I must confront the critical question: should I stay or go?

Focus on Common Ground, Not Differences

Kathy Caprino, writing for Forbes Magazine, advises, "Finding commonality in your values with others requires focusing on shared interests rather than differences. This is the first step towards building a foundation for collaboration."

For instance, if one colleague prioritizes structure while another values creativity, rather than viewing this as a point of contention, both can agree on the importance of self-expression. Successful dialogue should be grounded in a mutual commitment to benefit both the organization and one another, potentially utilizing coaching techniques such as active listening and thoughtful questioning.

This approach resonates with me, as I believe it can only work if I can set aside less critical areas of conflict. Every professional relationship necessitates a negotiation between shared values and inevitable differences.

Open Up a Dialogue with Your Supervisor

According to Michelle Garrett in Muck Rack Blog, "If you have a trusting relationship with your manager, initiate a candid conversation."

Meade shares his experience: "I was once tasked with a project that clashed with my values. Instead of going along with it, I discussed my concerns with my supervisor, who kindly allowed me to pivot to a project that was more suitable."

I've found that this approach is effective when there is mutual respect and trust in the supervisory relationship.

Reflect on Hard Questions

In my earlier post, "Four Ways to Know When It's Time to Move On," I emphasize the importance of introspection: "What are my objectives? Am I content? Am I still learning here? What lies ahead for me?" It’s easy to become absorbed in the daily grind, neglecting to assess our own aspirations. New professionals should start asking these questions within their first year, while seasoned workers may face additional challenges in finding the time for such reflection.

Personally, confronting these questions has been instrumental in shaping my annual reviews and setting new goals. It became clear to me that pursuing a terminal degree was essential when my objectives demanded further education. Even now, despite holding that degree, I find myself exploring diverse professional paths beyond higher education.

Currently, I must probe deeper—what behaviors am I willing to tolerate, and which would compel me to leave?

Choose Your Battles Wisely

Michelle Garrett notes, "Avoid the trap of trying to change everything at once. Don’t become the person who criticizes every aspect of the organization."

Bob Neufeld, a communications expert, suggests, "Always propose reasonable alternatives that you can accept, and be open to compromise."

In certain roles, I’ve chosen to endure challenges, while in others, I’ve opted to walk away. Now, I must weigh whether this particular challenge is worth my engagement.

At a Crossroads

My journey of vulnerability and transparency in assessing the intersection of my values and leadership skills often leaves me feeling uncertain. I strive to embrace discomfort and extract new lessons, yet the outcomes can lead me to a crossroads. Should I depart from a role where my principles are not honored, or should I concentrate on the areas of agreement while overlooking the discrepancies?

At this moment, I lack definitive answers. Nevertheless, I trust that this self-reflection will guide me toward a resolution that aligns with my true self. Ultimately, I am certain of one thing: my integrity is paramount.

Joseph has transitioned from 20 years in higher education administration to non-profit workforce development. His expertise encompasses diversity, equity, and inclusion education, professional development, training, and leadership enhancement. He is the author of "Tales of a Displaced Worker" and "The SAGA Facilitation Model."

Chapter 2: The Value of Reflection

The first video, "The Clash - Should I Stay or Should I Go (Official Audio)," captures the essence of indecision, reflecting the internal struggle many face when contemplating their career paths.

The second video, "The Clash - Should I Stay or Should I Go (Official Video)," visually represents the conflict of staying in a job versus moving on, resonating with those at similar crossroads in their own professional journeys.