Understanding Enthusiasm vs. Mania: A Personal Journey
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Chapter 1: The Unexpected Diagnosis
Mental health can be quite perplexing. I was thriving in my legal career when, in my thirties, I received an unexpected diagnosis of late-onset bipolar disorder. This is relatively rare, as many individuals typically show symptoms at a younger age. In hindsight, there were subtle indicators for a couple of years, yet the diagnosis still caught me off guard.
During my illness, I struggled significantly and was unable to continue my legal practice, leading to a prolonged sick leave.
Section 1.1: A Shift in Focus
Initially, my activities were limited to taking my children to and from primary school. Gradually, I found a sense of balance and began contemplating how to spend my newfound free time. I aimed to become a screenwriter and started to devise a writing schedule.
However, this ambition was met with skepticism from friends and family. My natural enthusiasm for this new endeavor raised concerns; they worried it might be a sign of mania. This frustration was palpable, as I recognized that enthusiasm and mania are fundamentally different.
Subsection 1.1.1: Insights from My Psychiatrist
In light of these worries, I consulted my psychiatrist. After a thorough evaluation, she assured me, “You don’t appear manic, Robert; you seem stable.” Curious, I asked how to distinguish between enthusiasm and mania. She explained, “If you’re writing for fourteen hours daily or waking at odd hours to write while juggling multiple demanding activities, that may indicate mania. Just keep your writing sessions manageable.”
Section 1.2: A Personal Commitment
On my return home, I made a promise to myself: I would limit my writing to two hours each day, a commitment I have upheld. While it might not seem substantial, with determination and focus, I’ve accomplished a great deal during that time.
I recall an interview with a notable British screenwriter who claimed she isolated herself for at least eight hours a day to write. Even without my bipolar diagnosis, I doubt I could manage that. After a couple of hours, I feel the need to “push,” leading to a decline in the quality of my work. With my two-hour daily limit, I can outline and complete a script in roughly three months, which I find quite productive.
Chapter 2: Defining Mania
So, what exactly is mania if it isn’t just enthusiasm? While there may be clinical definitions, I prefer to describe mania as unchecked hyper-enthusiasm. My condition is now well-regulated with moderate medication, minimizing the risk of manic episodes unless I experience prolonged sleep deprivation.
For example, if I woke up at three in the morning, eager to write my next piece, it would signal a need for caution, prompting me to take a break from writing.
Video Description: In this video, we explore the visual signs of mania and hypomania, helping viewers to differentiate between these states.
Video Description: This video discusses the complexities of distinguishing between hypomania and genuine happiness, shedding light on the nuances of emotional states.
Enthusiasm represents a healthy enjoyment of participating in an activity. In my view, the best form of enthusiasm strikes a balance: after two hours of focused writing, I might enjoy a beer, allowing myself to relish the satisfaction of my efforts until the next day.
There is a well-known British comedian with bipolar who proudly claims he doesn’t take medication due to its supposed hindrance on his creativity. While I can’t speak for him, I know that if I made a similar choice, I would burden my loved ones with guilt, ultimately stifling my creativity.
Conclusion: Balancing Enthusiasm and Responsibility
Ultimately, my relationship with enthusiasm is a careful balance. I must adhere to my two-hour writing rule, while my loved ones need to trust that enthusiasm does not equate to mania. If we all commit to this understanding, it’s certainly not manic to embrace enthusiasm.
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