Chapter 1: Embracing the Year of Acceptance

As 2023 draws to a close, I find myself once again engaged in my annual ritual of reflection. This year, I dedicate this writing to acknowledge the myriad experiences and invaluable lessons that 2023 has offered. After concluding last year feeling worn out, I stepped into this year filled with apprehension about what lay ahead. Yet, the months have flown by, and here we are.

If I were to encapsulate 2023 in a single term, it would be "Acceptance." Throughout the previous year, I spent my time resisting reality and attempting to impose change on my circumstances. However, this year marked a conscious choice to embrace acceptance. I recognized that many aspects of my life are far from perfect: some are broken, others empty, and some feel lost. I came to terms with the fact that my life in the Netherlands would never mirror what I had at home. I also accepted that I had taken a significant hiatus from various pursuits, including writing. Ultimately, acceptance has allowed me to view life beyond the confines of pain and problems, redirecting my focus to what I can influence.

Here are the top 12 lessons I absorbed this year:

Some friends and family will drift away, regardless of your wishes.

My deepest fear about moving abroad was the thought of being forgotten, fading from the memories of those I hold dear. I am someone who values loyalty deeply. This year, I experienced the pain of losing close friends and family more often than I anticipated. The shift from regular catch-ups to merely liking each other’s posts online has been jarring. While the emotional toll was substantial, it taught me to cherish those who remain in my life, my anchors and support systems.

Companionship does not remedy loneliness

Previously, I viewed companionship as the solution to loneliness, a common sentiment among those living abroad. I learned that the root of my discomfort was not simply solitude, but rather my own discontent with myself. True healing from loneliness begins with self-acceptance and self-love. When you find contentment in your own company, being alone transforms from a nightmare into a cherished experience.

Prioritizing physical health means being mindful of nutrition

This year has seen me in better health than in the past four years. I pondered why illness is less common in the Netherlands, where healthcare is more difficult to access. I realized that while people in my home country often resort to chemicals for remedies, those in the Netherlands focus on food. A diet rich in fruits and vegetables strengthens the immune system, and balance is essential. Nature provides our best nutrients; each color on our plate serves a unique purpose. Ultimately, maintaining good health involves incorporating more colors into our meals while reducing chemical intake.

Shift your focus from weight loss to building strength

The pandemic left me with unhealthy habits and a weakened body. Initially, I believed losing weight was the answer to my problems, but I soon discovered the value of strength training. I wanted to feel stronger and more comfortable in my own skin. Investing in a yoga mat and weights transformed my approach to fitness. Strength training not only helps you lose fat, but it also improves posture, enhances skin health, and bolsters the immune system.

Recognizing the source of pain may reveal deeper issues

My chiropractor taught me that pain in one area might stem from issues elsewhere in the body. This insight applies to life as well; if something feels off, it may not be the true source of your distress. I learned to seek help and new perspectives to uncover the root of my problems, allowing for genuine healing.

Investing in a home is crucial

After being compelled to find a new apartment this year, I realized the importance of having a space that feels like home. While I could have chosen a cheaper option, I opted for a place that offered comfort and a sense of belonging. This decision, though more costly, was one of the best I made this year. Whether living alone or with others, having a personal space where you can truly be yourself is invaluable.

Let go of the need to control the uncontrollable

Loss of control can lead to anxiety, which often brings out my harshest self. Setting unrealistic deadlines for my achievements only heightened my anxiety. A friend posed a simple yet profound question: "What’s wrong with being slow?" This year, I learned to embrace what I can control and to be gentle with myself during slower periods.

Sharing joy amplifies happiness

My rekindled passion for cooking this year led to the joy of sharing meals with friends. What began as a quest for feedback evolved into delightful potlucks and themed dinners. I discovered that sharing experiences and resources with others fosters a deeper sense of happiness than hoarding them for oneself.

Solving problems is akin to completing a jigsaw puzzle

My new hobby of assembling jigsaw puzzles has imparted valuable lessons. Tackling a challenging puzzle starts by focusing on the obvious pieces. Once you grasp the bigger picture, the task becomes less daunting. Problems can often be simplified by breaking them down into manageable parts, allowing for clearer focus and resolution.

Pursue your passions and give back

Reflecting on my career journey, I realize that pursuing what I love has led me here. Now, I find fulfillment in giving back to my community through sharing insights and mentoring others. Each contribution, no matter how small, can have a significant impact.

Struggles do not diminish your worth

This year, I recognized my tendency to view minor setbacks as indicators of an overall bad day. I’ve learned that one glitch should not define my day or my character. Embracing struggles as opportunities for growth and learning is essential; prioritize self-care amidst difficulties.

Celebrate the small victories

Finally, 2023 has taught me to honor even the smallest achievements. From traveling to new countries to reading numerous books, each accomplishment contributes to my overall growth. This year, I navigated challenges and celebrated victories, allowing me to close this chapter with a sense of peace and fulfillment.

Happy New Year, and thank you for taking the time to read this! If you'd like to support my writing or connect further, feel free to reach out.

The first video, "2023 in Reflection," offers a visual journey through the year's highs and lows, highlighting personal growth and experiences.

The second video, "A Reflection on 2023," shares insights and reflections that resonate with the themes of acceptance and personal development throughout the year.